Chronic Pain & the Battle to Believe God is Good

Jana H. Burson — Mon, 05 Jan 2026 20:47:07 +0000

If God is good, why is there evil in the world? Plenty has been written on that subject. The answer usually boils down to free will. Humans used the free will God gave them to plunge themselves and the world into a fallen state. We caused harm — to ourselves, others, and the earth .

‘Free will’ as an answer to the question makes sense to me, at least cerebrally. Philosophically.

But mental ascent is something quite different from emotional reconciliation to this truth. Living with chronic sickness and pain, I puzzle about why God hasn’t healed me. From my limited human perspective, it makes no sense. If I’m honest, I feel the sting of abandonment in it. It’s very personal.

If my friend were hurting, and I could alleviate her pain, I certainly would. If God can heal me, and he’s my friend, why wouldn’t he?

I can’t explain it. And God is not obligated to explain it to me. He sees things we don’t. His ways and his timing are higher than ours — as high as the Heavens are above the earth. He takes the long view, the eternal view. He knows my life is a breath, even when it seems to drag on and on.

I take comfort in knowing Job felt the angst of not being able to reconcile his lived experience with what he knew was true about God. I take courage in knowing Job believed God and refused to curse God and die, as his wife suggested he do. I take solace in knowing something cosmic was happening behind-the-scenes that Job couldn’t see. His suffering had purpose, even when he didn’t see it.

Job refused to give in to the temptation to agree with God’s Enemy about who God is, to make a false accusation against him — that he isn’t good. Such an agreement would be an act of treachery, a shifting of his allegiance to the Father of Lies.

Even Job’s friends declared untrue things about God and the causes of Job’s present reality. Job refused to internalize them.

Although he couldn’t reconcile his own experience with Yahweh as a good and all-powerful God, he kept believing God was who he said he was.

There is a greater reality than our own lived experience. By resisting the temptation to believe what his experience or his friends would have him believe about God, Job unwittingly proved himself to be what God believed he was. Job’s stubborn refusal to swallow lies about God put him on the winning side of an unseen spiritual battle. And after Job prayed for the friends who’d done him emotional harm with their untruths, God rewarded him handsomely. “…the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before” (Job 42:10, NIV).

The truth is: God is good, no matter what we are suffering. And nothing can separate us from the love of God — not even pain and chronic illness, if we refuse to let it.

My own declaration of God’s goodness, despite my pain, takes the form of a song. When despair causes me to long for Heaven, I put on worship music and sing out what is true about God: he is good and always will be.

“Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” (Job 13:15, KJV).

Prayer:

Lord, will you fix in our minds and hearts what is true about you, even when we’re tempted to believe otherwise? Will you give my friends who suffer with chronic illness and pain, relief and unwavering confidence that your goodness and mercy follow them all the days of their lives? Will you perfect your power in our weakness? Will you keep us faithful like our brother, Job, and reveal to us even more about your nature?

Fear of man and Amazon reviewers

Jana H. Burson — Fri, 28 Jun 2019 17:52:03 +0000

I knew something was holding me back, keeping me from releasing my words into the world. Then God put a finger on it: fear of man.

In her blog for writers, Kristen Lamb mentions an author whose book was rated a three-star rating by an Amazon reviewer because it was not Jimmy Dean sausages. Argh.

For writers, rejection and criticism seem rites of passage. They are in other endeavors as well but sometimes the critics are using the wrong measuring stick or lack perspective.

In the Lincoln Museum in Springfield Illinois, there is a wall plastered with insults and criticism of President Lincoln published by the press across the U.S. such as “Lincoln speeches consist of condensed lumps of imbecility, buffoonery, and vulgar malignity.”

His lack of formal education, his appearance, and even his morality made him a target, but history has silenced his critics, rendering them ridiculous, short-sighted, and mean-spirited. Abraham Lincoln has emerged in our minds a hero, a clear-eyed man who loved justice and the healing of our land more than the praise of men. What if he hadn’t? What if he had crumbled under their criticism? I shudder to think of it.

As I was reading through the book of Ezekiel, I stumbled upon something I hadn’t seen before.

The words leaped off the page as if God were speaking directly to me.

Don’t be afraid [in dread of, in reverence of] of them or anything they say. You may think you’re in the middle of a thorn patch or a bunch of scorpions. But be brave and preach my message to them whether they choose to listen or not. (Ezekiel 2:6, CEV). The KJV includes this line after scorpions, “be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed [prostrate, break down, either by violence or confusion and fear, bear down, discourage, scare, terrify] at their looks, though they be a rebellious house.”

Don’t be afraid of them or anything they say.

Don’t be dismayed [terrified, broken down, confused, or discouraged] by the way that they look at you.

“I am the Lord, the one who encourages [comforts] you,
Why are you afraid of [revere] mere humans?
They dry up and die like grass.
I spread out the heavens and laid foundations for the earth.
But you have forgotten me, your Lord and Creator.
All day long you were afraid of [startled by, stand in awe of, shake] those who were angry [fury, rage, poison] and hoped to abuse [destroy, ruin, cast off, corrupt, spoil, waste] you.
Where are they now [where is the fury of the oppressor now] (Isaiah 51: 12-13).

Whoa. Who do you think you are to fear man (who is like grass) when I who live eternally and made, not just the grass, but the earth and heavens, am for you? I am the one who encourages you, comforts you, and destroys your enemies.

Writers, preachers, advocates, and social entrepreneurs, fear is a natural reaction for almost anyone who is called to deliver a message from God to His people or to the world.

But to fear man over God is to revere man over God. That is absurdity.

Our affections can be misplaced, but so can our fear. Either is a kind of idol worship.

Ezekiel was called to a rebellious people God calls hard-hearted and hard-headed (Ezekiel 2). If we are called to deliver a message or live out a calling in the face of critics, or even rebels, we are in very good company. Ezekiel, Abraham Lincoln, even Jesus, are among them.

God told Ezekiel to deliver the message “whether they choose to listen or not.”

That’s because God is merciful. He is not willing that any should perish. He takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked.

Our call to deliver a message is not canceled by the anticipated reaction of those we are called to deliver it to. That is God’s mercy to the hearer—they have the chance to hear and respond—and His grace to us. As His messengers, we have the chance to co-labor with God, making our lives count beyond our own lifetimes.

Take up your courage all you lovers of justice and World Changers. Raise your voices for the voiceless.

Jana H. Burson